Secular alternative or supplement to AA and NA in australia and on the net.

Dear Family or Friend of someone in Addictive Behaviour

BLD is dedicated to helping an individual improve their independence from an unhelpful addictive behaviour - and to support their Family or Friend in their effort. Some experts consider addiction to be a disease, some do not. A BLD tool might help me regardless of whether or not I believe an unhelpful addictive behaviour is a disease. At BLD the focus is on the impact the unhelpful addictive behaviour is having on my life.


The belief is that, while I may have a problematic habit, I am “more” than "just" this habit – therefore the use of labels is discouraged. I am asked to refrain from using “diseased,” “alcoholic,” “addict,” “dry-drunk,” or “co-dependent,” etc.


It is believed that by focusing on MY own thought, feeling, need, and behaviour I might make my own life more manageable. While there is no guarantee, I might find that altering my behaviour, might have a positive effect on my Loved One’s behaviour and choice.


Nagging, pleading and threatening have been shown to often be counter-productive - whilst they are often a COMMON HUMAN response to an Unhelpful Addictive Behaviour. I am HUMAN.


The book by Robert J. Myers is recommended - Get Your Loved One Sober: Alternatives to Nagging, Pleading, and Threatening

And the book by  Jeffrey Foote et al is highly recommended also - Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change


At a Family or Friend Meeting I might discover:


What Might Be Helping Or Hurting?


Who Is Caring For Me, The Carer?


What Might I Be Saying To Myself?


How Might I Question My COMMON Human Thinking?


How Might I Spot My COMMON Unhelpful Thinking?


How Might I Use Positive Communication a Little More?


How Might I Set A Healthy Boundary?


How Might I Defend My Healthy Boundary?


How Might I Feel More Safe and Supported?


Might There Be A Helpful Way To Cope with a Lapse?


How Might I Disable Any Enabling?


How Might Trust and Forgiveness Be Built?


How Might I Set a “S.M.A.R.T.” Goal?


How Might I Discover My Power of Choice?